


b.u.s.t.e.d

by gardenspider



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Cryptozoology, F/F, Swearing, also perry? he's a cryptid lmao, but now they've got the boys and like. it sucks but also doesn't?, cryptid hunter au babey!!!, like. full on alien, mainly from the older teens and the adults, that's him, think of goose from captain marvel, vanessa and candace just wanna get away and have a romantic roadtrip hunting bigfoot and stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-23 04:26:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19143547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gardenspider/pseuds/gardenspider
Summary: Candace and Vanessa go cryptid hunting. Candace's annoying little brothers and their dumb platypus tag along.





	b.u.s.t.e.d

**Author's Note:**

> hey so i was listening to busted one day and i thought "haha imagine if candace and vanessa were hunting bigfoot while singing this" and then this cryptid hunter/road trip au was born.
> 
> i just wanna say thanku to the lgbt+ toon discord for fueling my ramblings ily all uwu
> 
> (also this title will most likely change, i just needed Something)

Candace's hand hung out the window, silently hoping Vanessa would let her turn on the air con of the car. She knew Vanessa wouldn't let her, "It'll run the battery down! Or waste gas!", she'd say, but it was worth a shot. The heat was killing her.  
  
Vanessa looked in the rear-view mirror at the two boys in the back, both of them giving her a Look, before turning to her girlfriend, knowing exactly what she was thinking. "Candace," the way Vanessa practically sang her name was intoxicating, coaxing her to listen, "we'll be in Point Pleasant soon. It'll be cooler then."  
  
Candace, shaking herself out of her lovestruck stupor (how did Van do it? It was only her name, for god's sake!) just groaned, throwing her arm dramatically over her face. "But I can't wait! I'm practically melting!"  
  
Phineas glanced over at Ferb, then Candace - who was still whining about being too hot in the middle of summer -, and then down at Perry, who was seated between the pair. "Maybe it'd be good to put on the air conditioning for Perry. He might overheat..." Casting a hopeful look over at Vanessa, she finally succumbed with a grumble. Her small smile, however, gave her away. Phineas leaned forward and whispered in Candace's ear, "You're welcome." She just pushed his face away, muttering a 'thank you' under her breath.  
  
Phineas felt Ferb tap his shoulder, pointing to the open laptop on his knee. He had a page open, full of recent Mothman sightings. "This seems like our best lead." Ferb signed, his movements quick and fluid. Phineas leaned over the sleeping platypus, reading the articles and comments, grinning ear-to-ear. They were consistent, which made them useful.  
  
"Ferb, you're a genius!" The teen jumped at his brother's slight outburst, the platypus next him chittering in irritation. "Hah, sorry," Phineas scratched at the back of his head, "but this is great! We're definitely gonna find him this time." He then excitedly started reciting the articles to the two women in the front of the beat-up car.  


* * *

  
Pulling up to the motel, Vanessa switched off the engine while Candace almost threw herself out of the car. " _Finally_! It was so hot in there!" She held out her arms, stretching as the cool breeze hit her.  
  
Ferb stepped out next, with Perry and Phineas in tow. He shoved his laptop back into his backpack and then rounded the car to open the trunk. Phineas joined him in pulling out the bags his sister(s) had brought, making extra, extra sure to keep them off Perry's tail. They didn't want a repeat of the Goatman's Bridge incident. "This is gonna be great. I've been following Mothman for a year now, I'd love it if we could actually see him. Oh! And we need to get a selfie at the statue. With Perry. What do ya think, Ferb?" Anyone who was unfamiliar with the boys would think Phineas was rude, that he didn't know how to stop talking (which, yeah, he didn't, but it wasn't his fault! So sue him, he's an excitable person who loves his special interests), but the group knew, knew that he's just a sweet, happy kid who takes a particular interest in the dark and creepy aspects of life.  
  
Perry waddled behind them as they walked into the motel, chittering at Vanessa who gave him an odd look. "There's something up with that thing..." She whispered to Candace, not taking her eyes off the little, blue creature. "Like, he's up to something."

Candace just rolled her eyes. Vanessa always brought this up. "He's just a platypus, babe. They don't do much."

"Yeah, but-"

"Ah! Trust me, he's not doing anything."

"He's an alien, Candace!" Vanessa let the frustration seep into her voice. Now she knows how Candace felt the whole of last summer. "I've fucking seen it with my own eyes!" She lowered her voice more, so Phineas wouldn't hear her cursing.

Candace shushed her loudly, causing the twins, as the boys liked to call themselves, to look back at the two girls. Ferb gave them a look while Phineas just kept talking to the receptionist. If Dad was here, he'd say that he was using the 'old Flynn-Fletcher charm'.  


* * *

  
Perry had to force himself not to flinch when Vanessa brought up his alien status. He's trying to lay low and relax this summer, he didn't need her trying to ruin his disguise.  
  
He sat there, waiting for his family to leave so he could run outside and eat a squirrel or something. While he did enjoy it, a diet of shrimp, crayfish and worms was getting a little boring. He'd been working hard to protect the kids lately, a little reward would hurt no one.   
  
It quickly dawned upon Perry that they'd be out looking for Mothman, at night, in the dark. Great. He's got his work cut out for him this time.

As long as Phineas and Ferb are safe, he figured, it's fine. Vanessa and Candace are old enough to look after themselves but the boys, _his_ boys, they needed the help, even if they didn't know who it was.

Perry waddled after his family, going so far as the only other car in the parking lot, before running off to scout the area. The squirrel would have to wait for now.


End file.
